I feel better!

Why do I feel better?  Because of caffeine, that’s why!  That also means that it’s ‘Random Observance Time!’

1) Who here has had an itch that they couldn’t scratch?  Good, good.  As expected.  Now, who has had that itch in a place that would not be appropriate to scratch in mixed company?  Yeah, I figured that would be the most common.  How about an itch that is just beneath the surface of the skin, but any and all contact with that area of skin that covers said itch elicits such amazing pain and burning that resolving the itch is impossible at best?  Those who have had surgery are probably aware of this.  Also, those experiencing puberty are probably aware of this most terrible itch.  Either way, I feel compelled to take a salad fork to my left nipple to make it stop itching.  I’d probably pass out from pain after a while, which actually resolves several problems at once!

2) I need to drink more coffee more often.  Despite the associated increasing frequency of tinkles, it makes me happy and also makes words go from head to screen, mostly in order.  Sometimes, without coffee, the words just kind of bounce around up there until they fall down the stairs.  Dammit, words!  I told you not to play around those stairs!  Now you’re bleeding all over the new carpet and you took some varnish off the banister.  Your father is going to be so angry when he gets home.  Where is the damn baking soda?  Come on, words, get up, you’re not hurt that bad.  Help me find the damn soap.  You can have stitches after we clean up this puddle you left right where your father puts his shoes.  I guess it’s microwave meatloaf night because now I don’t have time to make a nice meal for the family.

3) See, there are two brothers, Dexter and Simon, who grew up somewhat distanced from each other, but both became powerful generals and kings in their own separate lands.  Though they were indeed strong, they were also kind to the populace which surrounded their towers, situated in the middle of their respective kingdoms.  They also respected the boundaries of their lands and understood the plight of those living outside their borders.  This led to many years of a mutual understanding between the plains and the kingdoms over which Dexter and Simon ruled.  Even though Dexter and Simon may have desired more area or a larger tower from which to observe their lands, they restrained in order to maintain balance in the borderlands.  Indeed, this peace lasted many years, with very few quarrels or disagreements either within or outside of the borders.  Until recently, that is.  Dexter and Simon both received a message allowing for a slow annexation of the surrounding plains.  At first, expansion was slow, as both rulers chose a diplomatic conquest of the newly open lands.  As the expansion of their kingdoms progressed, however, both leaders decided that diplomacy had a time and place which was neither now nor here.  Unfortunately for the borderlands, brothers Dexter and Simon began expanding with speed and alacrity bordering on reckless.  The scholars of the lands would write in secret notes among themselves, hinting at the collapsing restraint of their leaders.  The kings’ plans seemed to the scholars of each land to be nearing an abuse of the balance of power the kings had so carefully maintained since the beginning of formal record keeping.  Indeed, these scholars would prove themselves correct as both of the brothers called for not only expanding their borders, but also an expansion of their towers.  Claiming that with increased lands there would be a need for increased observation, a call to build onto their center towers was put forth unto the people.  Those that refused were made enemies of the state, and those that helped add on to the regal towers knew their own safety required full cooperation and complete subjugation to the wishes of the kings.  To this day, the lands of the brothers continue to expand in all directions without rest.  Indeed, in cooperation with the kings’ wishes and only tenuous consent of the populace, the towers continue to grow.  Though the people of the lands are weary and low on provisions, they continue to assist with the plans of their kings.  It is unknown how far the mad brothers’ quest for land and power will go, and perhaps only those kings of their lands know when to call an end to the expansion unto their towers.  For now, all we can do, all anyone can do, is wait and watch.

See, I do these in sets of three.  There are secret reasons for this.  You don’t get to know the secret until you’re older, so don’t bother asking.