After the exceptional feedback* of the previous entry, I have decided to present the opposite here! Surely presenting one thing and then its direct opposite will elicit the exact same response. Anyway, here are a few tangible objects which would be pleasing to me were they nearer to me with my name written in crayon on the bottom.
1) Egg nog. This entry is only for those within a two hundred mile radius or so. Please do not mail me egg nog again. You know who you are. Also, if you are indeed buying egg nog for me, please ensure it is actual egg nog and not soy based. I ain’t got nothin’ against soy milk, but if I’m going to drink egg nog anything, it better cause at least mild chest pressure when I’m done. In fact, if you look at the label on the back, find the saturated fat line and compare between brands. Which ever one has the highest number of ‘points’ there is the one you should buy for me. Seeing as how I don’t really give a fig about sports, this is the only time of year I care about points. Won’t you help me beat the other team?
2) Nail polish. See, I’m not even real picky on the color, so this would be a good opportunity to imprint your preferences on my mostly unformed ideas of what looks nice. For what it’s worth, I do need more sparkly ones. Come to think of it, I probably need more sparkly things in general. Also, pink! Pink and sparkly is probably too much to handle, and I would promptly burst. But either should be fine, I would think.
3) Caffeine in delicious form. This would please me much, as I have a problem. Please feed my crippling addiction!
Well, that’s really the extent of my list I think. Apparently, only liquids for me. No solids, gases, or plasma. Though I suppose if you could find a way to wrap up that unique state of matter, I’m all ears.
More relevant entries to follow sometime soon. Promises!
* I laughed kind of loud at my ‘suspension rating system’ and it echoed a bit, which I mistook for a studio audience.
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