Accidentally Serious.

Definitions:

Gatekeeper, noun: 1) a person in charge of a gate, usually to identify, count, supervise, etc.  2) guardian, monitor  3) inhumane asses

Real Life Experience, crap: 1) hazing ritual

Let me share a bit with you, dear reader, one of the many nonsense hoops trans folk need to jump through in order to get the treatment they need.  See, most of the systems in place for trans folks are in place not really actually to help, but to make sure they ‘don’t make a huge mistake with their lives.’  There is something to be said for ‘ensuring the dedication of the patient,’ but there is also something much worse to be said for ‘hoping the patient doesn’t commit suicide while jumping through an arbitrary hoop for an arbitrary length of time.’

The particular hoop of focus today is the Real Life Experience (RLE).  Let me explain, because the definition above may be a little editorialized.  Sometimes, a trans person admits to themselves they are indeed trans and have a need to transition.  The first step is a counselor, who can assess and assist the trans person in getting the help they need.  Some of these practitioners, under the guise of ensuring that ‘a horrible mistake isn’t made by the patient,’ will haze/test the trans person by requiring the RLE.

This amounts to (typically) a year of living as the desired gender by changing/adjusting dress and mannerisms.  Note, at this point if you are non-binary, you can go fuck yourself because the establishment has no place for genderqueer/genderfluid folks.  One year, before even getting that all-important letter so that they can get the hormones they need so they can live, basically.

So, picture this.  Let’s take a male, with a typical male body, that admits and accepts that they are trans.  They need help, so they start on the path of transition by visiting with a psychologist or some such.  This professional, ostensibly there to help, informs this male that they must dress and act as female for a period of no less than one year.  Any deviation from this presentation will put them back at square one and the countdown is reset.  During this time, the patient will be monitored to ensure adherence to the RLE by coworkers or professors or those sufficiently around the person to make sure they are getting their new gender role right.  Also, to add insult to injury here, the patient must deal with a boy body for the entire year, which is almost always a terrible reminder of what they were born and constantly feeling like they are mocking what they need to be.

So, this male who needs help (because as soon as you admit to yourself you need to transition, every day spent waiting is a new level of hell) now must effectively crossdress (which is miles apart from being trans) and try to pass (because not everyone is cool with a boy in drag) hoping no one thinks they aren’t serious or aren’t playing the part correctly.  Seems a bit harsh, maybe?  Outdated?  Yeah, it’s both of those things in spades.  It is, according to studies, also not helpful or productive.  How do you suppose this male feels, needing to be female and being slightly closer by dressing as a female, but still miles away from what they need by being constantly reminded they have a boy body?  Suppose maybe the already crushing, horrible distance they feel might actually get worse during RLE?  Think it might drive some to suicide?

However, if the trans person goes through the whole year, they are serious about transitioning.  Of course, I was pretty goddammed serious back then, too.  Honestly, the RLE would have killed me.  No joke.  You don’t have to pretend for a year to need treatment.  Think about a cancer patient.  Should they ‘pretend to be on chemo for a year’ before getting the real thing?  Depressed patient?  ‘Pretend you are sufficiently happy as compared to our standard of happiness for a year and then we can help you.’  Like a trained astronaut reaching toward the moon in their backyard.

Of course, even after that year, they still might not get sufficient treatment.  But at least there won’t be any ‘horrible mistakes.’  See, now that I actually have a heart, it’s broken in half for those poor folks who get subjected to RLE.  Honestly, trans folks aren’t fucking around and don’t need to play dress up for a year.  They need help and the courtesy of common human decency.